The Other House
by MarcellusMiro66
Summary: Yet another "No Such Luck" AU (except it isn't), one in which Lincoln is adopted by his former family's counterparts. (Undergoing some rewrites as you read...)
1. Chapter 1

_Hi, everyone, **MarcellusMiro66** here! This is (oddly enough) a **Loud House** story that's basically **"** **The Other House** **"** (by **The 21st Century Pendragon** ) and **"** **Singled Out** **"** (by **Lentex** ) Meets **"** **Meeting A Loud** **"** (by **zachlor16** ) and **"** **Brotherhood** **"** (by **Witch-King Angmar** ) on scotch and bourbon. It follows Lincoln, following a grueling battle of the superstitions among the Loud Family, being adopted into the equally crazy Lance Family. This particular family mirrors his former own in every way...or do they?_

 _This is (hopefully) the first installment in my **Titans Alliance Universe** : a superhero universe disguised as a slice-of-life sitcom, complete with magical realism, speculative fiction, and a Jukebox Musical soundtrack that contains classic songs from the good old days. The story's primary influences are **Hey Arnold!** , **Parker Lewis Can't Lose** , **Buffy the Vampire Slayer** , and **Ouran High School Host Club** ; other inspirations include **Fraiser** , **The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air** , **Saved by the Bell** , **Boy Meets World** , **Kim Possible** , and **Veronica Mars**. (Yeah, it comes and goes, but it will try to find the perfect pace and balance.)_

 _Enjoy! Whenever you can..._

* * *

 ** _Episode 1: " Arrival (Part 1)"_**

 ** _(Friday, December 15th 2017)  
(6:00 PM)_**

 _Another second...gone._

 _Another minute...gone._

 _Another hour...gone._

 _Another day...gone._

 _Another week...gone._

 _Another month...gone._

 _Another year...something that rhymes with "gone", but isn't._

 ** _"Kid..."_**

 ** _"Kid...?"_**

 ** _"Kid!"_**

Lincoln's eyes blinked open to find a pair of headlights shining his way, both of which illuminated the shadow of a figure standing above him. Naturally, he crawled backwards in fear; he was a literal deer in headlights.

"You okay, kid?"

Luckily, his tone seemed much friendlier than his imposing nature would suggest though, causing Lincoln to lighten up just a tad.

"... Yes, sir."

The man nodded, "What are you doing out here this hour?"

Lincoln seemed reluctant to respond, but he managed to muster whatever strength he had left to do so. The response he chose to go with clearly baffled the man: "My family doesn't love me anymore."

The man tilted his head in confusion, "Would you care to elaborate on that statement?"

Lincoln shook his head and the man nodded once again. _He doesn't want to talk about it, nor does he feel comfortable doing so._ Glancing around, he sighed softly, "Do you have a place to stay?"

"No." That was the complete truth. "But I'll be okay." That _wasn't_.

The man suddenly turned tail and opened the passenger's side, "Come on."

Lincoln blinked in bewilderment, "You're taking me in?"

The man nodded once more and beckoned Lincoln over. The white-haired boy himself was contemplating his decision to go unwillingly with this mysterious man to whoever knows wherever. A wise man once said, **_"Never go with a predator to a secondary location."_** However, this man radiated a calm and comforting presence towards him. Yet another thing to worry about: **_"Appearances can be deceiving."_** What did he have to lose, though? One more thing adding to his concern: **_"Don't trust anybody."_**

 _Oh, what the hell._

Lincoln learned that the man's name was David Duncan. He was a former police detective turned future security guard married with 13 children. Any other details would be revealed later when they arrived in his home.

The car ride from Royal Woods to Huntington Oaks took a full 90 minutes, during which Lincoln took a nap. It wasn't a great one like the normal ones in his bed, but it was a good one and a vast improvement over the abnormal ones outside. It was the reason how and why he ended up here in the first place. Three months ago, he was accused of being bad luck after her sister Lynn lost a baseball game the one time he attended. Two months ago, the ordeal ceased after his next-door neighbor called the police on his family after they unwittingly committed child abuse. One month ago, the custody battle began after the bad luck fiasco finished. Two days later...

Well, where were we?

The Honda Civic arrived in one of the many suburban streets of Huntington Oaks. On the right, a four-story house came into view the moment Lincoln woke up. The sight of it made him stare in awe, a sight that made David smile ever so slightly. The car pulled up to the driveway, was placed in park, and turned off; Lincoln and David exited soon after. The former (his backpack slung over his shoulder) trailed behind the latter as he marched up the stairs and knocked on the door three times. A moment later, the door opened and a 50-year-old-or-so woman appeared in the doorway. She had wavy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a black suit with matching flats and that was missing the tie.

"Hello, David. Is he here?"

David nodded silently and stepped aside to reveal Lincoln to the woman. She in question gasped softly and took baby steps as to not frighten him. "Hello, my name is Audrey. I'm David's wife...and your new mother. What's your name?"

After a minute or so, Lincoln had decided that Miss Audrey seemed welcoming enough and took her stuck-out hand to shake it, "My name's Lincoln."

"It's nice to meet you, Lincoln. I promise you that the rest of us will make you feel welcome."

Lincoln nodded in understanding and was led inside, David trailing behind him this time. He took in his surroundings, which mirrored his former own residence but greatly expanded upon. There was a undoubtedly flat-screen new model in place of his parents' old model, two sets of stairs instead of one, and a surprisingly roomy kitchen substituting his former tightly knit cooking center. _Wow... I need to get used to this. Literally and figuratively._

 _"Mom! Dad!"_

The trio looked up the first flight of stairs to find a girl the same age as Lori slid down the stairs and land roughly on her feet. She had platinum blonde hair, navy blue eyes, and a blue leather jacket, a black T-shirt, navy blue skinny jeans, and black combat boots. "Do you mind if I borrow the family van for Lacey's concert tonight? She needs a ride...and a bodyguard."

"Well, at least you asked," David chuckled in response.

"Just be careful, Lauren," Audrey pressed as she handed "Lauren" the keys to the van.

"Thanks, Mom." Before she turned to walk away,Lauren noticed Lincoln shyly hiding behind her parents, "Who's the kid?"

"Oh, Lauren, this is Lincoln," Audrey introduced him to her teenage daughter, "He's your new brother...for the time being."

Lincoln flashed a nervous smile towards Lauren, whose past frown morphed into a present smile...or something along the lines of it.

"Nice to meet you, Lincoln. My name is Lauren, as my mother introduced you to me just now. I'm the eldest of the Lance siblings, so you don't have to hesitate to ask me any questions. You have to, however, knock on my door before you step into the counselor's office. No pressure."

"Oh... Okay." Lincoln nodded and shook Lauren's hand in greeting. She in turn nodded back in reciprocation before taking in her mother's spoken words.

"Wait, Mom. Did you say **_'new brother'_**?"

"Yes, Lauren," Audrey confirmed with a nod, "You did tell the others, right?"

 _... Shit._ "Sure..."

"Yep, she's lying," David nodded as well, "You can call your sisters now, Lauren."

"Shoot." Lauren huffed in defeat and pulled out a silver whistle, which she blew on _hard_. At that, the pair of stairs rumbled and five girls ran down each. They stopped in their tracks upon reaching their parents.

"Girls..." Audrey began, "I take it Lauren failed the near-possible task of informing you of our big announcement?"

"What big announcement?" The second brunette teenager tilted her head in confusion; she was a year younger than Lauren and seemed to harbor a hint of Chinese in her.

"Yeah, Mum. Lauren never said anything about a _'big announcement'_." The next brunette teenager had a white streak in her hair and was utilizing a faux-British to rather dubious results.

"Guys, relax," the third brunette teenager with a blue hairband stepped forward, "I'm pretty sure that this is the last one after Leia. Get it?"

The sisters (minus Lauren) voiced their disgusts rather than their contempt for that downright inappropriate joke made by their self-proclaimed comedienne sibling, especially since there were minors in the room with them.

"No, girls, we're not having another baby," David clarified their suspicions, a clarification that made the girls groan in disappointment...

"But we have a new brother, right?"

...and subsequently yelp in surprise. The intruder in question was a fourth brunette teenager whose outward appearance resembled that of a stereotypical Goth...and perhaps a suitable Puritan.

"Yes, Lydia," Audrey rolled her eyes and chuckled in amusement. "Girls, I would like you all to meet Lincoln...your new brother."

The girls save Lauren and Lydia gasped and stared in shock at the white-haired boy who stepped out from behind their parents. After a moment of silence, the girls' initial skepticism soon blossomed into its natural joy, clamoring excitedly as they bickered among themselves who was going to introduce who first. They decided to introduce themselves one at a time in order to make him not feel overwhelmed.

"Hi, Lincoln. I'm Layla, the second eldest of the bunch. If you have any problems regarding fashion passion, you'll know who to call." Layla stuck out a hand for Lincoln to shake. When he did, she smiled her biggest smile and stepped aside to let the third sister have her turn.

"Hey, dude. My name is Lacey, the best darn musician there is. I can tell you're nervous, and I understand. We'll give you your space whenever you need it, just don't hesitate to ask." Before Lacey let the fourth sister have her turn, she whispered to him, "If you ever hear a girl named Molly Mason boast my earlier-stated position, I need you to brazenly deny it. _Capisce_?"

Lincoln couldn't help but smile in amusement at Lacey's attempt to sound first British then French as he nodded in response. Lacey herself shot him a smile before the blue satin headband-wearing girl stepped forward with a blue dress with a light blue wavy spade design and a smile that matched Layla's previous.

"Hello! I'm Laney! Nice to meet you, Lincoln!" Laney shook Lincoln's hand rather vigorously before, "If you feel down, then I'm your clown! Yeah, my jokes and forms of humor are far from original, but always good for a laugh."

"Actually, _'far from original'_ isn't where you begin to cover it, sis." This time, a blonde teenager with a dark blue denim jacket, a white lace skater skirt, and black booties stepped forward. "S'up, Lincoln. I'm Leah, the family athlete and bodyguard whenever you have a school bully. Put it there." Lincoln and Leah's hands gripped together and the latter commented "Nice grip" before stepping back for the second blonde – the Puritan girl from earlier – to introduce herself.

"Hello, Lincoln. My name is Lydia, and I'd go into the woods to look for the witches, the mythical beings. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"The pleasure's mine." Lincoln and Lydia shook hands. Immediately after, two brunettes (what a shocker) approached him with their own variants of smiles. The first girl fashioned a black Italian satin sheath evening gown with a matching pair of elbow-length gloves, a string of pearls, and a medium-sized black hat. She had wavy, shoulder-length brunette hair with blue eyes and a pair of black sunglasses resting atop her head. The second girl donned a dark blue tank top, brown pants, and black combat boots. She had brunette hair tied up in a ponytail and no other fashionable accessories visible on her whatsoever. Both were undoubtedly the polar opposites of each other.

"Hello, Mr. Lincoln," Brunette #1 shook hands with him first, "I'm Liza Lance, the undisputed queen of the pageants. Not that skank Lola. She's a fraud. Anyway, you're invited to any tea parties I throw and host as my special guest."

Lincoln didn't know why, but he was somewhat proud of Liza hurling that insult at her younger sister.

Brunette #2 stuck a hand for him to shake in greeting, which Lincoln took gladly; all the while, Liza watched on with a scoff crossing her face. "My name is Lara Lance! I am the adventurer, solving mysteries/rewriting history type! ... Unlike my much older and more domesticated sister here."

Liza blinked in bewilderment, "I'm not sure whether it was a compliment or an insult. Or both."

"I don't think it should matter, you primitive toddlers." Both twins' heads shot up and stepped aside for another brunette girl wearing a wine red turtleneck, black pants with matching flats, and a pair of pink folding readers to introduce herself to Lincoln, "Hello, new male sibling. I am Lena Lenore Lance, the scientist you would attend when you collide with a scientific dilemma...or a moral dilemma. I personally prefer the latter over the former as I'm also a guidance counselor and an occasional comedian."

"Really?" Laney was taken aback by this revelation, "Why didn't you say so?"

"I saw no relevance in this secret, pathetic older sister," Lena smirked as she continued gazing at Lincoln, not facing Laney, "Plus, it wasn't necessarily a secret to begin with. You just never questioned me about it." _  
_

"Well, I guess it just makes our lives much easier." Blonde #4 decided to introduce herself with Blonde #5 in tow, "Hi, Lincoln. I'm Lyla Lance and this is my sister Lila. It's understandable to confuse our respective names and even our personalities. My job is kinda like Lauren's: to keep the peace...among the little ones. Sorry, girls."

"Oh, it's okay, Lyla," The final blonde slowly and surely stepped out from behind Lauren. She was wearing a blue hoodie, a pink-and-white flannel, blue jeans, and pink-and-white Converse sneakers. "Hi. My name is Lila. It's...nice to...meet you."

Lincoln understood Lila's nervous nature and stuck his hand slowly and surely. After a moment's notice, she took the hand that greeted her and shook it softly. She then flashed a halfhearted smile that he returned with sincerity, a sight that moved both parents.

"Now..." Audrey clapped her hands together, "Now that we're all introduced, we should have dinner to celebrate the arrival of our new son."

"I'll place the order before I go," Lauren pulled out her black iPhone 8.

"Pizza sound good to you, Lincoln?" Lacey crossed her arms with a smile.

Lincoln smiled back, "Pizza sounds nice."


	2. Chapter 2

**_Episode 2_ _: " Bliss (Part 2)"_**

 ** _DING-DONG!_**

The front door of the Loud House was opened by the family patriarch to reveal a young boy presumably around Lincoln's age. He had jet-black hair, a simple black jacket with black pants and shoes, a medium black belt with a silver buckle, a white button-up shirt with a protruding collar, a loosely worn black tie, a pair of sunglasses that hid his eyes, and a charcoal grey overcoat...as well as a certain frown of uncertainty.

"Yes, can I help you, young man?"

 _Well, for starters, I'm not a man, you old crook._ "Is...Lynn here? I need to talk to her."

"Oh! Yes, yes. She's in her room."

 _Good to know, you poor excuse of a father figure._ "Can I...come in?"

"Yes, of course." Lynn Sr. made the fatal mistake by letting the boy in and letting his guard down. The boy immediately shot for the stairs and searched around for Lynn Jr.'s room. When he found it, he didn't want to seem like an intruding pushover, so he knocked four times and waited for the door to open. The person who opened the door was not Lynn herself, but rather the personification of a stereotypical goth girl. _Oi, she reminds a little too much of Lydia..._

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, unfortunately. I'm looking for Lynn."

Lucy could clearly notice the boy's dry sarcasm and was about to call him At that moment, a brunette-haired girl − presumably the goth girl's roommate shot up from her bed and stared at the two people in the doorway. The boy she focused on more, and it was starting to make him uncomfortable.

"Lincoln?"

"No, but you're getting awfully close." The boy closed and locked the door behind him, something which visibly worried both Lynn and Lucy. "Speaking of awful...let's talk about things that are such. War, poverty, and...superstitions. You two are aware of the definition of "luck", right? If not, I'll just summarize it for you two girls to understand: it is success or failure brought about by chance rather than one's actions. One might say otherwise, but to me, there are three types of luck: the good...the bad...and the ugly. You two fit right in the latter category."

As he was monologuing about luck and its different types, Lynn and Lucy exchanged nervous looks while sharing the same thought: _Does he know?_

"Yes, I _do_ know what happened, and frankly...I am _not_ happy at the outcome. So...what do you have to say about yourselves?"

The two girls were sweating beads now as a tense silence followed before Lynn broke it. "I'm sorry... I _really_ am...but whatever you're going to assume, not all of it is true−"

" ** _Not all of it?_** You're calling me a liar?"

"No, no," Lynn waved her hands in innocence, "I didn't say that."

"You were _thinking_ that." The boy's left hand dug into his left pocket. "Listen, I would appreciate it if I didn't repeat myself the information I'm going to give you. In other words, I'm only going to say this once, so pay attention, please." And pay attention they did.

* * *

"So, Lincoln..." Lauren continued helping her mom cut the pizza, "What do you like?"

"A regular pepperoni slice, please," Lincoln responded...with dubious reactions.

"Um... I'm pretty sure Lauren was talking about your interests, man," Lacey smirked as she ate her pizza. Lincoln blushed in embarrassment while the twins giggled in amusement.

"Oh! Well, I like comic books, manga, video games, science fiction and fantasy stories," Lincoln responded as he ate his slice.

"But of course," Lena remarked under her breath, "Typical interests for a boy his age."

"Say what you want, little sis," Leah crossed her arms and placed the odds in Lincoln's favor, "If it makes you feel better, Lincoln, I actually like comic books and manga...specifically **_Fist of the North Star_**."

"Yeah, **_Fist of the North Star_** is great and all," Lara interjected, "but nothing can top the pinnacle of awesomeness that is **_Scott Pilgrim_**!"

"Personally, I prefer **_Death Note_** ," Lydia commented while eating and reading (what else?) a copy of **_Death Note Vol. 1_**.

" ** _Cowboy Bebop_**." Lauren raised her hand...

" ** _Sailor Moon_**!" ...right before Layla.

" ** _Ghost in the Shell_**." Then Lacey.

" ** _Ouran High School Host Club_**!" Then Laney.

" ** _Fruits Basket_**." Then Liza.

" ** _Black Lagoon_**." Then Lyla.

" ** _Dragon Ball Z_**!" Then Lila.

"... **_Gundam Seed_**." Then Lena...begrudgingly.

" ** _Poo-Poo_**! ( ** _Astro Boy_**!)" Then Leia.

" ** _Sin City_**." David called as he washed the dishes.

" ** _Wonder Woman_**." Audrey called as she gathered up the empty boxes.

" ** _Neon Genesis Evangelion_**." Everybody looked up from their conversation and towards the front entrance. A young boy dressed in a black suit was hanging up his charcoal grey coat on the coat rack, an expression combining that of a frown and a smile crossing his face. When he turned around, Liza and Lara gasped and shot up from their seats in unison; they both gave a hug at the boy, whose smile increased as he returned the hugs and made his way towards the kitchen.

"Sorry I was late, you guys. I was helping Nicole with the party decorations."

"Oh! Is the party still on that week?" Laney accidentally talked with her mouth full, sending pizza chunks spurting across the table...much to the chagrin of Audrey, Lena, and pretty everyone else within a seven-year-inch of her.

"Well, knowing Nicole, Laney..." The boy tried to pry the twins off him and get a slice of meat lover's, "She isn't one to back down from a party." He then noticed Lincoln watching him from afar and flashed his most gentlemanly smile towards him. "Oh, hello. I didn't see you there until now. My name is Logan Lance, the middle child and only son of the Lance House. Pleasure to meet you." _... Whatever your name is._

"Hello, Logan. My name is Lincoln Loud...the middle child and only son of the Loud House. The pleasure's all mine."

 _... Yep. Fuck me._

"Um...could you repeat that?"

"Oh...okay. My name is − "

"No, no, no, no, no! You don't need to repeat that, Lincoln! I just...needed to comprehend _exactly_ what you said."

"Logan, I know that this is hard for you to understand," Audrey walked over and placed a hand on Logan's shoulder, "but Lincoln... He's going to be staying with us for a while."

"Well... Actually, it isn't," Logan sheepishly scratched the back of his head, "If there's a noble cause behind this event, then I'm perfectly willing to understand."

"His family are meanies, Logan!" Liza marched up to Logan and crossed her arms in frustration. "Well, aside from Lily."

"They accused him of being bad luck!" Leah waved her arms in the air like she just didn't care.

 _I know..._

"They sold his bed and drawer!" Lara concurred.

 _I know that too..._

"They locked him outside his house!" Lacey balled up her fists.

 _I...didn't know that..._

"... Okay, then. Lincoln needs a room to sleep in."

"That's why..." − _Oh, is Laney going to say what I think she's going to say?_ − "I took the liberty of moving _his_ luggage into _your_ room!"

 _Yep, that's what I thought..._

* * *

"Listen, Logan... I just want to apologize for intruding on you and your family on such short notice. I mean, it's Christmas Break, and you have people busy with getting presents and/or visiting relatives and whatnot..."

"You don't have to apologize, Lincoln. You are stressed out, and that's completely understandable. It was your family's decision to think that you were a jinx in the first place, and they're paying the price."

Logan was helping Lincoln set up his bed for the nighttime...or, rather, he was brushing his teeth and changing his clothes first before helping him build his bed. He tried to do both of those things as quick as possible so he didn't feel like he (Lincoln) was doing all of the hard work and he (Logan) was doing all of the easy play. He changed into dark blue long-sleeve pajamas and rushed out of the bedroom, his toothbrush still in his mouth. He handed Lincoln the instructions for Part 1, while he kept the instructions for Part 2. Lincoln, while he was assembling the bottom half of his bed, stared in awe as the multitasking abilities demonstrated by Logan, who brushed his teeth and built the top half of the bed.

"Lincoln, stop staring and stop building," Logan made out through a paste-induced mouth, knocking Lincoln back into reality. _Goodness, I hope Lincoln doesn't see me as nothing short of a Mary Sue. I mean... I am, and I can't deny that; it's my social skills beyond my family that need improvement. Lincoln, on the other hand..._

"Right! Sorry, Logan!"

"You don't need to apologize, Lincoln. You just need to finish building your half of the bed."

 _Okay, Logan, you don't need to be condescending towards him. Just...ignore him. Ignore him until you see fit. His old family ignored him, so why can't you?_

 _. . ._

 _Because you're not supposed to. You're supposed to do the opposite. Care for him because his family neglected to do so. Yes, you've heard of them and saw what they did to him, the crimes committed deemed morally unforgivable. They – with the exception of Lily – deserve to rid in the Badlands..._

 _...and that's putting it kindly._

"Logan? I'm done with my half."

Logan looked over to confirm his suspicions, nodding in reciprocation when he displayed his half to Lincoln. Moving them to the room's left side, the two boys lifted the top half and aligned the bottom of the top of the bottom half; Logan screwed the bolts in while Lincoln held the bars down. He then attached the ladder to the bed's right side, the finishing touches of a perfectly made cot. Sliding their respective mattresses in (foam for Logan; spring for Lincoln), they fluffed their respective pillows and dusted their respective blankets. While Lincoln went to the bathroom to get ready for bed, Logan climbed into bed and waited until he was gone to pull out his journal and write down his entry:

 ** _Okay, Logan, you don't need to be condescending towards him. Just...ignore him. Ignore him until you see fit. His old family ignored him, so why can't you?_**

 ** _. . ._**

 ** _Because you're not supposed to. You're supposed to do the opposite. Care for him because his family neglected to do so. Yes, you've heard of them and saw what they did to him, the crimes committed deemed morally unforgivable. They – with the exception of Lily – deserve to rid in the Badlands..._**

 ** _...and that's putting it kindly._**

 ** _How do I know who the Loud Family are? Simple. I took a page out of that egocentric brainstorm's book and researched them. ALL of them._**

 ** _The eldest Loud sibling is named_** ** _Lori_** ** _(Lauren #2): the perfect embodiment of the 21st century teen. The very thing society has come down to. Bossy, condescending, and occasionally aggressive, she has the second nastiest temper in the household, right behind our little b**** Lola (more on her later, though). Of course, she uses this to her advantage, doing whatever she can to assert authority and dominance over her youngest siblings. [BDSM much?] This is her defining trait and her fatal flaw. She is clearly insecure about her relevance in the family and thinks she's a self-absorbed shrew. Considering what's happened next, they may have a point. Her life in school, love, and especially family...are her life in ruins._**

 ** _The second eldest sibling is_** ** _Leni_** ** _(Layla #2): the living personification of the phrase "kind, but stupid". She's actually one of the more likable sisters, in spite of the fact she seems to be suffering from some form of ADD. Let's not forget a nasty case of arachnophobia, too; yes, she momentarily overcame it when it came to that tarantula, but it's permanently gone not. So...strike one?_**

 ** _The third eldest sibling is_** ** _Luna_** ** _(Lacey #2): the free-spirited "rocker" of the bunch. This sister's a strange case; there's nothing wrong with her exactly, given her bond with Lincoln is the strongest out of the entire siblings. However, her peers have chalked up the source of their contempt to one thing: bisexuality. Indeed, her crush on a fellow female classmate has elicited quite the mixed response. Some welcomed her, others shunned her, and the remaining few remained neutral. I'm one of those remaining few. Oh, to heck with it. Strike two._**

 ** _The fourth eldest sibling is_** ** _Luan_** ** _(Laney #2): the aspiring comedienne. The sibling who somehow finds herself back at square one no matter how many times she tries to be nice. Pulling a series of recurring pranks on your family during April Fool's Day? That's a mistake. Pulling a large-scale prank in a dilapidated hotel, possibly endangering your family in the process? That's a whole other kind of mistake. In fact, an innocent baby being placed at risk is well enough to get you on the Justice Department._**

 ** _The fifth eldest sibling is_** ** _Lynn_** ** _(Linda #2): the family athlete. The main reason why Lincoln was here invading my home and personal space right now. Yes, he may have conjured up the bad luck lie in the first place, but he was a decently justifiable reason and managed to learn his lesson. But did Lynn? No. No, no, no, no, no. You know what really grinds my gears about this girl? She's a sore loser, a mean-spirited bully, and (get this) a full-fledged Karma Houdini. It's only gotten worse since the days spent with this flat character progressed, and she is quite possibly my least favorite sister because of this. Of course, my argument made against her is not as nearly as one-sided as the other people on my list._**

 ** _The fifth youngest sibling is_** ** _Lucy_** ** _(Lydia #2): the occultist. Unlike my actual sister, Lucy is sarcasm and cynicism galore, with no realistic expectations for life and any of its challenges. That being said...I do appreciate her admiration for poetry and Gothic authors such as Edgar Allan Poe and H.P. Lovecraft. Plus, her crush on that kid with curly red hair (or was it straight black?) is just too adorable. I wish Lydia would be more open; otherwise, she'll be acting like either that guy from_** ** _Split_** ** _or that girl from_** ** _X-Men_** ** _. Anyway, strike three._**

 ** _The fourth youngest sibling is_** ** _Lana_** ** _(Lara #2): the self-proclaimed tomboy. Efficient in plumbing, automatic repair/machinery, and exotic animals alike, Lana is not afraid to get her hands dirty, no matter what the circumstances are. This makes her sibling rivalry with her twin sister Lola all the more entertaining and complex; they love each other, but they don't show it. This also benefits towards the rest of her family, as she is a decent enough person who truly cares for them. Strike three._**

 ** _The third youngest sibling is_** ** _Lola_** ** _(Liza #2): the pageant contestant. Hello, square one, my old friend; I've come to talk with you again. In terms of her personality/characterization, think an evil cross between Princess Morbucks and Darla Dimple. She was sassy, smart-mouthed, and just plain spoiled. That was putting it nicely. At worst, she was arrogant, conceited, and manipulative. Not only that, but her compassion was often overshadowed by her conceit. Did we mention that she has quite the nasty temper?_**

 ** _The second youngest sibling is_** ** _Lisa_** ** _(Lena #2): the self-proclaimed brainiac. A child prodigy in her own right, she is known for her dry and sarcastic sense of humor...which unintentionally contrasts with Luan's highbrow and hyperactive brand of comedy. So, you never can tell whether or not she's actually joking. On one hand, you have a boorish jerk with a heart of gold; on the other, you have an egocentric jerk with a heart of jerk. At least she has a morality pet in her new best friend._**

 ** _The youngest sibling is named_** ** _Lily_** ** _(Leia #2): the cutie honey. Like Lisa, she seems to be smart than she looks; in this case, she is aware of her surroundings in spite of her age. Stilling learning how to properly communicate, she somehow understands her siblings no matter the situation. She is undoubtedly cheerful, rarely cries, and truly loves her siblings. She and Leia would most likely get along as a result._**

 ** _And of course, the middle child is named_** ** _Lincoln_** ** _(Logan #2): the straight man of the family. We both receive no respect and serve as mere punching bags in a family riddled with estrogen brigade. However, we both love our respective old families_** ** _long_** ** _before they turned their backs on us...and we both love our new ones._**

 ** _Lyla and Lila are the only sisters with no counterparts of their own. And I know why...but nobody else does._**

 ** _And nobody should. If they did, well..._**

 ** _Expect all hell to break loose...literally._**

Logan tucked away his journal for safekeeping just as Lincoln emerged from the bathroom. Unbeknownst to him, Lincoln had secretly listened to every word said. Apparently, Logan had a habit of reading his words aloud. He appreciated that he didn't fire Leni, Luna, Lucy, Lana, and _especially_ Lily warning shots; and oddly felt satisfied when he did towards Lori, Luan, Lola, Lisa, and _especially_ Lynn. However, the section centered around him and Logan really made him think...but not enough to miss the next few parts. _Are Lyla and Lila not really a part of the Lances? If so..._

Logan, on the other hand:

 _Orange pajamas, in contrast to my navy blue. How fitting..._ As the lights turned off and the boys tucked themselves into their covers, Lincoln had one more question for Logan to answer.

"Do you hate me, Logan?"

"... Of course not. I just need time to get used to one more occupant."

"... Oh. Okay then. Good night, Logan."

"Good night, Lincoln."

 _Aw... You_ _did_ _remember his name..._


	3. Chapter 3

****_A/N_**** _: Sorry for the time skip, everyone. I was somewhat in a funk during the Christmas season, so I have decided to skip it that section. So, **364wii** (and __**Guest** ), I have read your review(s) and took them into consideration:_

 _•_ _ ** _364wii_**_ _ _: Lincoln will not be the "butt monkey" of the series or hold that status; any antagonists like Chandler, Flip, or any of Lincoln's classmates (excluding his friends) will receive this treatment. Lincoln himself is more of an "escapist character"; much like Spider-Man in__ _ ** _Homecoming_**_ _ _, he is more social/has friends, a less hostile school life (just not at first), and potentially a superhero. I have not yet confirmed this, but I'll give the possibility the benefit of the doubt. Plus, considering the genre is mainly that of a "superhero sitcom", Lincoln may only say no on occasion. Most times, however... Well, most of the episodes wouldn't advance the storyline forward if he didn't say yes. This last part is a spoiler, by the way.__

 _•_ _ ** _Guest_**_ _ _: About the__ _ ** _"Nicer/Meaner Sisters"_**_ _ _trope usually found in__ _ ** _Loud House_**_ _ _stories... This was both unintentional__ _ _and__ _ _intentional. When I read your review, I was disappointed at myself for leaning purely on the clichés associated with "__ _ _No Such Luck__ _ _" stories. Then I realized I could use this trope and run with it (or invoke it and play with it). Also, Lincoln doesn't necessary agree with Logan; he's just doubtful about his family (sans the five sisters you listed as "nice") loving him anymore and suspects that this new family is more than meets the eye. In addition, Logan acts as Lincoln's more sardonic (if not hostile) side of him, downright distrusting his family regardless of their redeeming abilities (if they have any).__

 _ **364wii**_ _... I read your review and appreciate your constructive criticism of the first chapter; I have taken it into consideration when writing down this one. All of the sisters (and extended family members) will get their equal share of character development, but the main focus is on Lincoln and Logan. Spoiler alert, Lyla will not get her revenge on any family members (Lola especially), but she is somewhat morally unstable._

 _Also, for your concern that I gave Lincoln his old life with a twist: his new family is much nicer in comparison to his old family, where he is the resident "butt monkey" of their quote "torture". Things will eventually get violent, weird, and...naked, for lack of a better term. As_ ** _Star vs. The Forces of Evil_** _was, this story will eventually divulge into a Motolov Cocktail of "_ ** _cocaine_** ** _,_** ** _LSD_** ** _,_** ** _Pop Rocks_** ** _,_** ** _soda_** ** _, and_** ** _Fun Dip_** _"._

 _I have added_ _ **Phineas and Ferb**_ _(as well as_ _ **The Odd Couple**_ _) as two of my main influences when writing this story; Lincoln is_ _ **Phineas**_ _(or_ _ **Oscar**_ _without being a slob), Logan is_ _ **Ferb**_ _(or_ _ **Felix**_ _without his neurotic behavior):_

 _•_ _ **Lincoln Loud/Phineas Flynn**_ _: Like Phineas; Lincoln is smart, optimistic, and unaware of the emotions of those around him. However, Lincoln is smart to an extent, slightly optimistic, and can presumably tell whenever he gets on some nerves. Unlike Phineas; Lincoln doesn't have a romantic relationship to get invested in just yet (i.e., the "_ _ **Phinabella**_ _" phenomenon); she comes later._

 _• **Logan Lance/Ferb Fletcher** : Like Ferb; Logan is smart, skilled, and silent. However, his intelligence is reminiscent of **Christian Wolff** ( **Ben Affleck** ) from **The Accountant** , his skills include cooking/archery/martial arts, and he only speaks around Lincoln to share his insight of him being his new brother and his witty bant_ _er with him. Unlike Ferb; Logan has a romantic relationship to get invested in (in this case, the librarian who is Danielle Dawson)._

Both of these concerns will be addressed in this chapter.

 _So, you all get ready because..._

 ** _"_** ** _It's gonna get a little weird, It's gonna get a little wild_** ** _!"_**

* * *

 ** _ _Episode 3: " Closure"__**

 ** _ _(Friday, January 12th 2018)  
(12 N)__**

 _ _To say she was infuriated would be an understatement. In fact, it might just be the greatest understatement of the 21st century by far.__

 _ _Lyla replayed the message her brother caught on his recorder. And replayed it again.__

 _ _And again...__

 _ _And again...__

 _ _And again...__

 _ _Until every last word that left that bitch's mouth had entered her subconscious:__

 ** _ _ **"Lincoln makes a mistake, then he makes up for it. The series – much like the song that never ends –goes on and on. This punishment isn't just going to stop the cycle...but it's going to**__** ** _ _ **break**__** ** _ _ **it. Lincoln learns his lesson, we finish our job, and everybody in the family wins."**__**

 _ _Then she replayed it again...__

 ** _ _ **"Lincoln learns his lesson..."**__**

 _ _And again...__

 ** _ _ **"...we finish our job..."**__**

 _ _And again.__

 ** _ _ **"...and everybody in the family wins."**__**

 _ _One. More. Time.__

 _ _Lyla placed down the recorder and placed both hands on his face. She may have been young...but she knew what it was like to be abandoned. She didn't like it.__

 _ _Not. One. Bit.__

 ** _ _ **"You fucking bitch..."**__**

 ** _ _ **"What did Mom say about language?"**__**

 _ _Lyla glanced towards the doorway to find Laney standing there. She growled and glanced away.__

 ** _ _ **"What's wrong?"**__**

 _ _Laney watched as Lyla merely gestured towards the recorder. '__ _ _That's Logan's__ _ _...' Picking it up and hitting the '__ _ ** _ **PLAY**_**_ _ _' button, her eyes widened with every word spoken by Lincoln's fourth older sister. A frown crossed her face when the message finished, turning to face her younger sister. That frown was quickly replaced with a look of terror.__

 ** _ _ **"Lyla..."**__**

 ** _ _ **"I don't know what to do."**__**

 _ _The Colt Python trembled in her hands. Tears began to leak from her eyes.__

 ** _ _ **"How could they do this to him...?"**__**

 ** _ _ **"... Some people are just misunderstood. They're not bad."**__**

 _ _Laney slowly took the revolver from Lyla's hands and said this:__ _ ** _ **"Don't do anything... Not yet..."**_**_ _ _before she left her to calm down.__

* * *

Logan woke up first this time around (this was a blatant lie, but don't tell him that). Something important had come up to make him leave the household late at night. Four days had passed since Lincoln's first days of Huntington Oaks school ended going up in smoke. __Literally__. After a fire broke out in the school's science building, half of the building was set ablaze in the process. As a result, school was canceled for an undisclosed time period. Immediately after, a small group of 5th graders placed the blame on the school's newcomer. You can take a lucky guess on who said newcomer was. Fortunately for Lincoln, Principal Kevin Walker and Vice Principal Jenna Jetson were the only ones who believed him when all the others didn't.

Well... It was them and...

 _ _And...__

 _ _Me...__

Just imagine the surprise on all of their faces when they connected the dots between the two boys.

* * *

 ** _ _ **A day earlier. . .**__**

 _ _Logan held five files under his arm heading towards the Principal's office when he stopped in his tracks. Frowning in contempt yet hidden determination, he continued onward. He had heard a yell that clearly belonged to his...brother.__

 ** _ _ **"It wasn't me, Principal Walker! You have to believe me!"**__**

 _ _Logan could hear the desperate tone in Lincoln's tearing-up voice. A sprinkle of sympathy began to swirl in his stomach upon hearing the waterworks function. He was lucky enough to only__ _ _hear__ _ _it, not__ _ _see__ _ _it.__

 _ ** _"We do, Mister Loud,"_**_ _ _Principal Walker understood Lincoln very well and placed a reassuring right hand on his left shoulder.__ _ ** _ **"We just don't see a young man like you causing trouble like this."**_**_

 _ ** _"We saw everything unfold from our office,"_**_ _ _Vice Principal Jetson concurred.__ _ ** _ **"Those boys should've thought better than to simply blurt out an accuser in front of the designee's workplace."**_**_

 _ _Logan and Lincoln felt relief wash over them, but there was one more question that remained.__

 ** _ _ **"So what will happen to..."**__**

 ** _ _ **"The boys will be dealt with tomorrow."**__** __Principal Walker nodded in reassuring confirmation,__ ** _ _ **"In addition to accusing an entirely innocent student, they will be charged with making threats of assault and blowing up the school. In the meantime...you should stay home. For your own good."**__**

 ** _ _ **"The only problem is,"**__** _ _Vice Principal Jetson started,__ _ ** _ **"I only managed to identify the leader of the group: Henry Wilson. He has a endless record of troublesome behavior such as assault, battery, and just plain harassment."**_**_

 _ _Logan managed to identify all of them just by plain memorization. With that, he burst into the room armed with nothing but his speech, much to the surprise of the three occupants (Lincoln in particular).__

 _ ** _"Mister Lance,"_**_ _ _Principal Walker adjusted his reading glasses,__ _ ** _ **"what are you doing here at this hour?"**_**_

 _ ** _"I've come to offer my insight on this school-related incident and manner."_**_ _ _Logan handed the files to Vice Principal Jetson, who took and gave them a read,__ _ ** _ **"The boys you're looking for are Harry Wilson, Jeffrey Feldman, Carter Peterson, Wolfgang Rockwaller, and Rick Hardy."**_**_

 _ _After doing so, she nodded in understanding and ran the listed names through the system. Principal Walker shot Logan a much required skeptical look.__ ** _ _ **"How and why did you do this?"**__**

 _ _In turn, Logan shot Lincoln a much needed sympathetic look before turning back and replying,__ _ ** _ **"Let's just say I have eyes and ears everywhere in Huntington Oaks, sir. Besides, a manner that concerns any member of my family is a manner that concerns me. My brother didn't deserve this."**_**_

 _ _The two adults were both taken aback by this revelation. A given, because the event that accompanied said revelation occurred last year during Christmas Break. Nobody at the school would've known this until now.__

 _ ** _"I know, I know,"_**_ _ _Logan waved off their skepticism,__ _ ** _"Hard to believe. My parents are still working out the adoption rights."_**_

 _ ** _"... I see, then."_**_ _ _Principal Walker nodded in understanding. Just then, Vice Principal Jetson's eyebrows knitted together as she read the files.__

 ** _ _ **"Mr. Walker, we need to call the police."**__**

 ** _ _ **"Why?"**__**

 ** _ _ **"Mr. Wolfgang Rockwaller is not listed here in the student attendance chart. He's listed in the Royal Woods Middle School's."**__**

 ** _ _ **"Alright. I'll contact Principal Huggins and inform him of the situation. Logan...take Lincoln home, will you?"**__**

 ** _ _ **"Yes, sir."**__** _ _His work done, Logan opened the door and beckoned Lincoln to follow him out. When the door was closed, Logan sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead.__

 ** _ _ **"Sorry, Lincoln."**__**

 ** _ _ **"... For what?"**__**

 ** _ _ **"For...this. Your first week of school wasn't supposed to start off like this."**__**

 ** _ _ **"It's okay, Logan. There's 18 more weeks...I hope."**__**

 ** _ _ **"Sure. Let's see that as a silver lining."**__**

 _ _. . .__

 ** _ _ **"Thanks, Logan."**__**

 ** _ _ **"... For what?"**__**

 ** _ _ **"For...this. Standing up for me."**__**

 ** _ _ **"... Yeah, you're welcome."**__**

 _ _. . .__

 ** _ _ **"What can I say except 'you're welcome, you're welcome'..."**__**

 ** _ _ **"Save that when we get home, Lincoln."**__**

* * *

Yep, he could imagine it all clearly all right.

Logan got dressed in his signature suit and coat before he headed over to his closet. Pressing a hidden red button on the interior's side, a hidden arsenal unveiled itself to him on full display. A various assortment of self-defense armaments ranging from firearms to melee weapons was revealed, organized by size, shape, and the top-bottom placement. After a few minutes of browsing for a suitable weapon, he suited on three: a 3rd Generation Glock 17, a standard SIG-Sauer P226R, and a pair of extendable batons. (So, _four_?) He then took up a pair of customized sunglasses and a black mouth mask that complemented his suit and coat. What, you thought the suit was a business one complete with tie and vest? No, this suit was a navy blue spandex model with black armor, the even darker blue overcoat serving as his cape.

A realistic set of clothing for a realistic superhero if there ever was one.

Performing a brass check on both handguns before holstering them, Logan then tested both batons before holstering them as well. Taking one more brief glance at a sleeping Lincoln, he sighed again before leaping out the window and landing on his feet. Entering the shed to retrieve his homemade motorcycle, he took outside and away from the house so no one could hear him. Unfortunately for him, someone he knew _saw_ him.

 _"Logan?"_

Said boy tensed up and slowly turned around. He then huffed in frustration upon recognizing who the witness was.

"Damn it, Robbie! What the hell are you doing here?"

Like those meddling kids on _**Scooby-Doo**_ , Robert "Robbie" Ramirez was one to interfere with something important. Like his friend Logan, he was 12 years of age excited for vigilantism, but that's where the similarities ended and the differences begin. For starters, he was biracial – his father was born in London, while his mother was of Mexican ancestry. He kept his father's British accents, his mother's Mexican appearance, and both of their likes/dislikes. As mentioned above, his personality was that of a **_Scooby Gang_** member. So here he was, dressed in a navy blue denim jacket with a wool collar, a sky long-sleeve collared shirt underneath, a grey scarf with black gloves, a pair of dark blue jeans, and brown motorcycle boots.

"Well, it depends. What are _you_ doing here?"

Oh, Logan forgot "smart-assed", too.

"My brother was bullied, and I'm getting revenge. That was the summarized version."

"Hmm. Okay. Wait, you mean Lincoln, the dude with the white hair who lives with that family in Royal Woods? I thought you hated him."

"I did."

 _. . ._

"What happened?"

"... I met him."

 _. . ._ "Aw, you're actually starting to warm up to him."

"Don't say that, Robbie. I'm not sure _what to think_ of him."

"Whatever you say, mate. So...you're seeking justice for your brub. Mind if I join?"

"Sure, why not. Wait here." Robbie watched as Logan retreated back into the shed and came back with two items. He was thrown the objects which he caught and examined. It was a ski mask and a bulletproof vest. Robbie looked back up to find Logan handing him his holstered SIG-Sauer P226R and five ammunition.

"Don't get shot at." Not before putting on the protective sleeveless garment, Robbie took the pistol and fitted the holster over his shoulder.

"Yes, sir."

With that, the two boys slipped on their helmets and boarded the bike before speeding off.

"We have to make a quick stop."

"Where?"

* * *

 ** _Hazeltucky, Michigan. . ._**

A knock on the door awoke her from her sleep.

Gina Grey, much like Robert Ramirez, was biracial. She also was British, but this time fused with a hint of Japanese ancestry. She clearly took inspiration from Lauren Lance, with her platinum blonde hair and black/blue clothing. The young girl was also influenced by the infamous Lynn Loud in terms of her incredibly short temper. She was _not_ an big fan of early wake-up calls. Case in point, she pulled out a stainless steel Taurus PT911 as she got up from bed and towards the door. The moment she swung it open was the moment the boys (well, Robbie anyway) went blind.

 ** _"WHOA! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"_**

Logan and Gina watched as Robbie was reduced to nothing short of a stuttering mess. They then exchanged confused glances before the former commented, "I didn't know you slept in the nude."

Gina developed a brief yet hilarious eye twitch as a result as she glanced down to find that she was indeed nude. Unlike most girls who would blush, stammer, and even aimlessly flail around struggling to get dressed, she merely scoffed and rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"I was beginning to notice a draft in here. Come on."

Logan and Robbie (after he was calmed down) were both led inside by Gina, who didn't bother with any more clothing and instead slipped on a blue see-though robe.

"So, Gina..." Robbie nervously scratched the back of his head amidst a heavy blush, "I didn't know you slept starkers."

Being half-British, Gina understood Robbie's slang and crossed her arms in contempt, "I take offense to that. You know, you've seen a naked Sara before. What's the matter with me?"

"Oi! I thought we agreed never to speak of that!"

"This is irrelevant," Logan smoothed his nose bridge and got straight to the point. "Gina, we want you to come with us to kill some people."

The British-Japanese preteen ceased any exchange of her conversation with her London-Mexican friend the minute she heard the phrase "kill some people". She retreated upstairs and returned downstairs with the same handgun, but a different uniform. It was all black leather with hints of armor underneath, a biker jacket, and a pair of combat boots.

"Does your family know about this?"

"Just the ones who can keep their mouths shut."

"I think that's best. Let's go then."

The trio left the house and sped off on their motorbikes; Logan had Robbie ride with Gina this time.

 _Was this a good idea?_

 _. . ._

 _No. It was a_ _great one._

* * *

 ** _A/N_** _: So, about the early reviews for my new story " **Death Wish** "..._

 _1)_ ** _Guest_** _:_ ** _"It was good until the NSL part came. Fuck you."  
_** _•_ ** _Me_** _:_ ** _"Thank you, good sir (or ma'am), I will do just that... (Oh, for the record, I actually wished this_ _was_ _a NSL story.)"_**

 _2)_ ** _TheFreezerStreets_** _:_ _ **"** **Wait Lincoln got convicted? Interesting"**_  
 _•_ **_Me_** _: **"In a sense, yes... Lincoln was convicted, but what really happened to him is a mystery that I only can solve... (But I invite anyone else to crack the riddle.)"**_

 _3)_ ** _That Engineer_** _:_ ** _"Hey Lynn, you working again?"_**  
 _•_ **_Me_** _: **"No, I'm just sorting some stuff out."**_

 _Also, for **364wii** and **Guest** , I hope this chapter addressed any concerns you had in your reviews. If not, then I apologize and will flesh out the themes in later chapters. Logan's vengeance mission with his friends will be depicted in the next chapter, as well Mr. and Mrs. Duncan's confrontation with the Loud Parents. Also, we are introduced to four new characters: Principal Kevin Walker, Vice Principal Jenna Jetson, __Robert "Robbie" Ramirez and_ _Gina Grey._


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N**_ _: And now, a few things I would much like to point out before we start:_

 _1)_ ** _364wii_** _:_ _"I like this story a bit more every time we get a chapter. I like the mention of other cartoon characters in stories when done right which I think your doing. Ever thought of putting a mention to Fillmore that show takes place in Michigan like Loud House. I also find Logan hating Lincoln at first interesting what did Lincoln do to you buddy?"_ ** _  
_** _•_ _ **Me**_ _:_ _"... Oh, Logan doesn't hate Lincoln per se, but...his contempt towards him is close enough."_

 _2)_ ** _Guest_** _:_ _"I appreciate that you addressed what I said in my review. It really shows that you listen to what your readers have to say. Thanks. This was quit an interesting chapter. So David and Audrey are gonna pay a visit to the Louds, eh? And Logan's taking a shot gun with him? Jesus. They're not gonna kill the Louds, are they? Though Audrey did say Just in case and that she hopes it won't come to that, so maybe things won't get ugly. I wonder what they're gonna do, question them? I should just wait until the next chapter to find out. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next."_ ** _  
_** _•_ ** _Me_** _:_ _"Logan's not with them; he's on a vigilante mission and brought two handguns plus a pair of batons. His father David is the one with the shotgun who is also aware of his son's acts of vigilantism."_

 _2.1)_ ** _Guest_** _:_ _"There's one thing I want to ask you. Did you know about that trope I mentioned before doing this? If not, I can understand. The trope mainly used to be used on fanfics posted on the Loud House wiki, and to my knowledge, was never used in any fics posted on this site. I don't know if you read any fics from the wiki."_ ** _  
_** _•_ ** _Me_** _:_ _"I may have did, I may have not, but...that's just me."_

 _David and Audrey's vignette is inspired by " Bad Luck for the Louds" from the **Loud House Booru** , although with a different setup and modified dialogue._

* * *

 ** _Episode 4: " Damages"_**

 ** _(Friday, January 19th 2018)  
(12:00 N)_**

 _Audrey woke up to the sound of someone walking around during the midnight hour; amazingly enough, David didn't. She couldn't blame him, however. He was getting old. They both were getting old._

 _Rubbing her eyes and getting up from bed, Audrey opened her closet and retrieved a double-handed broadsword before she descended downstairs to investigate. She never did like guns. As in the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, she deemed them quote "so uncivilized". She never used any firearms of any sort until the time called for its necessary use or whenever it was relevant. Not straying from the main situation, though, she reached ground level and wielded her bladed weapon. Realizing that the sound came from the kitchen, she slowly advanced and lowered her guard upon discovering..._

 _The sounds were actually crying._

 _When she turned a corner, Audrey completely let her sword drop to her side upon her eyes falling on a heart-wrenching sight. Sitting there on a stool – her head laying face down on the counter_ _– was one of her blonde daughters sobbing her sorrows away. Judging by the black blazer, sky blue blouse with white collar, and purple skirt, it wasn't difficult to identify who blonde daughter it was._

 ** _"Lyla?"_**

 _The daughter shot her head upon hearing her name being called and felt her heart sink upon discovering the person who called her was her mother. She elicited a somber pout and glanced away, the kitchen counter capturing her interest much more than her own maternal figure was._ _Audrey herself placed down the sword on the counter and took a seat beside Lyla._

 _**"Lyla. What's wrong?"**_

 ** _"... I don't want to talk about it."_**

 _Audrey then noticed the tape recorder being clutched tightly in Lyla's hands, but decided against mentioning it for now._

 ** _"Well, sooner or later, you're going to have to say something. Otherwise, I can't help you unless you help me."_**

 _Lyla said nothing at first, but did place the aforementioned tape recorder down in front of them both._

 ** _"They never appreciated him..."_**

 ** _"What was that?"_**

 ** _"..._** ** _Lincoln makes a mistake, then he makes up for it. The series – much like the song that never ends –_** ** _goes on and on. This punishment isn't just going to stop the cycle...but it's going to_** ** _break_** ** _it. Lincoln learns his lesson, we finish our job, and everybody in the family wins._** ** _"_**

 _Confusion plagued the matriarch's mental psyche for a moment or two before she glanced at the recorder. Picking it up and hitting the ' **PLAY** ' button, her ears perked up and her eyes widened down with every word spoken by the speaker in the message. The words spoken by Lyla were the exact same words spoken by...whoever was speaking._

 ** _"Lyla...who is this?"_**

 ** _"... I think it's one of his sisters."_**

 ** _"... Lincoln's?"_**

 _Lyla merely nodded as more incoming tears flooded her vision. Her maternal instincts kicking in, Audrey did the one thing a loving mother could do: hug the living daylights of her daughter. She hugged her daughter and smoothly rubbed her back as the waterworks placed on a rather tear-jerking performance. Noticing movement from the corner of her right eye, she recognized the form of her husband from anywhere._

 ** _"Hello, David."_**

 ** _"What did I miss?"_**

 ** _"We need to take a little visit to the Louds whenever we get the chance."_**

 ** _"... Okay then. Do you want me to bring my shotgun?"_**

 _Audrey shot David a stern look before rolling her eyes, **"Yes, sure. Just in case. I just hope it doesn't come down to that."**_

 ** _"Well, on the bright side, you get to bring your sword."_**

 ** _"That's not funny, David."_**

 ** _"I know, I know. I was just trying to lighten the mood."_**

 _Lyla smiled beneath the crying, **"Thanks, Dad."**_

 _David and Audrey exchanged sincere smiles as the latter helped Lyla back to bed and the former headed towards his shed to retrieve said shotgun: a Mossberg 590 with ghost ring sights and speedfeed stock. As he did, he noticed that one of his many bulletproof vests were missing...and the fact that he was beginning to speak to himself:_

 ** _"Oh, Logan... I don't know what to do with you, kid. I'm not sure what your parents shaped you into, but it's not good. Everybody sees you as nothing more than a trivial and insignificant addition to a crapsack world."_**

 _David took his Mossberg, loaded the shells..._

 ** _"But maybe that's a good thing._ _That's how you're gonna beat 'em, Logan. They keep underestimating you."_**

 _...and then pumped it._

 _In a dramatic fashion._

* * *

 ** _(Friday, March 2nd 2018)_**  
 ** _(2:00 PM)_**

David and Audrey were able to pay the Loud House a visit on this particular Friday. The former was dressed in a brown leather jacket above a dark grey sweater (which, in turn, was worn above a black bulletproof vest), a pair of black slim fit jeans, and a pair of brown flat-bottomed boots. The latter was dressed in the same black suit when meeting Lincoln; only this time, she was equipped with a black overcoat, a black bulletproof vest, and a SIG-Sauer P226R along with a Glock 17. Continuing with the weapons of choice, David carried a Beretta 92FS along with his Mossberg 590 mounted in the back window of their black 1970 Dodge Charger R/T with a custom blower. As David drove towards Royal Woods, Audrey performed a brass check on their handguns while commenting on his clothing choice.

"You know, hon, the least you could do is look professional."

"Even without a suit, I still am."

"You put a teenager in the hospital for two months because he made Lara cry and hurt Lacey."

"Well, that bastard of a bum boyfriend had it coming. Besides, I didn't kill him or nothing; that was merely a warning shot."

"Good thing you didn't _actually_ shoot him."

"I didn't need to. I _wanted_ to."

The wife shot her husband a stern glare, to which the husband responded in kind to his wife: "But I didn't. Our kids couldn't bear the thought of their father and hero being a murderer."

"Well...as far as excuses go, that's reasonable. You almost made forget the reason why I married you."

"Good thing I didn't."

Audrey smiled and scoffed under her breath, handing David his Beretta 92FS as he drove. He noticed her smile and secretly smiled back. _When she smiles...it sure is a pretty smile._

When they arrived at the address, the couple took a full two minutes to observe their new son's old family's location. The exterior of the house was painted white with a black colored roof, a porch on the front side, a chimney running up the left side, and a garage on the right side. The walls of the basement are made of red bricks. Judging by the slightly decrepit and worn-down structure, the house suffered from various residential failures including (but not limited to) faulty water pressure, creaky floorboards, rotting wood, a clunky furnace, crummy TV signals, doorknobs that broke off from their doors, a malfunctioning mailbox, and even a _broken doorbell_. And they haven't entered the household yet.

"It's somewhat like ours, except..." Audrey attempted to find a proper comparison for the residence before them, "...it's much smaller."

"And much crappier," David sneered under his breath, much to her annoyance.

"David..."

"Sorry. I couldn't resist."

"Come on. Let's get in character."

Upon arriving on the front porch, Audrey took the honor of ringing the doorbell. A moment passed before she rang again. The phrase _"Third time's the charm"_ being foreign to them, the couple opted to investigate this time. In their attempt to open the door, the doorknob snapped off. Both exchanged glances before David resorted to kicking down the door when it didn't budge any further. Before he could, however, a male voice rang out.

"Oh, hang on there! My door does that all the time!"

"No shit," David murmured underneath his breath before Audrey shushed him as the voice called out.

 _"Who is it?"_

"Messenger service."

The door opened and all hell was let loose.

* * *

 ** _(Friday, January 12th 2018)_**  
 ** _(12:00 N)_**

 ** _BANG!_**

 _All of the people inside (teenagers included) had no chance to draw their weapons, as they were gunned down the moment the door opened. One such person drew his Heckler & Koch MP5K, but only fired it wildly into the ceiling as he was gunned down. The masked shooter was followed by two more, both of whom were masked as well and around his age._

 ** _"That was...anticlimactic."_**

 ** _"For lack of a better term? Sure."_**

 ** _"There's more. We head up."_**

 _The leader reloaded his Glock 17 and did exactly that, his two team members trailing behind. The second-in-command drew his SIG-Sauer P226R, while the muscle drew her stainless steel Taurus PT911. The resulting shootout played out like the level of a first-person shooter. Shoot, kill, reload, repeat. Blood splattered everywhere, bodies collapsed anywhere, and everything went to shit. Literally and **figuratively**._

 _Once the trio reached the "inner sanctum of the entire operation", the leader kicked down the door and aimed his Glock. Laying there smack-dab in the line of fire was a preteen boy with light brunette hair, green eyes, and a red jacket._

 ** _"Where's your brother, Harry?"_**

 ** _"I'm not telling."_**

 ** _"Look, kid...either you tell me or I'll tell your mother the goods you have in your little treasure box underneath your bed."_**

 _. . ._

 ** _"He just left. Went back to the school to burn the rest."_**

 ** _"With Principal Walker and Vice Principal Jetson inside?"_**

 ** _"Most likely."_**

 ** _"Ugh...okay then. Here's the deal: you, your brother, and his friends are going to stay away from Lincoln Loud. He doesn't deserve this."_**

 ** _"You're right...but his sister does."_**

 ** _"Which one?"_**

 ** _"The brunette with the red-and-white sports jersey."_**

 _' Ugh, Lynn. Typical...'_

 ** _"What did she do, Harry?"_**

 ** _"From what I've heard...she struck my brother in the head with a baseball bat after he threw a winning pitch at her."_**

 ** _"Ha. Based on what happened a few months ago...they both deserved it."_**

 ** _"What happened a few months ago?"_**

 ** _"The short version: Lynn fucked up when she accused Lincoln of being bad luck."_**

 ** _"Yikes. She believed that?"_**

 ** _"The entire family did."_**

 ** _"Whoa._** ** _"_**

 ** _"Whoa indeed."_**

 _Logan holstered his Glock and faked a smile underneath his mask._

 ** _"Thank you for your time, Harry. I will, uh...see you at a later date."_**

 ** _"You're going to kill him, aren't you?"_**

 _Logan, Gina, and Harry each shot Robbie a barrage of facial expressions that were among the lines of **"Are you shitting us, Robbie?"**_

 ** _"I guess not...?"_**

* * *

 ** _Present Day. . ._**

Lynn Sr. stared at the couple before him and examined them from head to toe. He clearly wasn't expecting any visitors today, as he dropped any sense he had of being tired and brushed the dust off his clothing.

"Um, can I help you folks with something in particular?"

"Yes, sir, you can," Audrey stepped forward, "My name is Audrey Duncan and this is my husband David. Where's your wife Rita?"

"She's inside," Lynn replied, "but we're getting ready to go somewhere. Our children – "

"Can surely survive your absences for a hour or two," David interjected, prompting a glare from Audrey.

"David. Remember why we're here."

"Right." Turning back to face Lynn with a scowl, David continued, "We know _exactly_ what you and Rita did, Mr. Loud. You think you could just lock one of your own outside because of "bad luck" and get away with it?"

"It...it was an accident – "

"Oh, _bullshit_. I don't think child abuse counts as an accident, Mr. Loud."

"... What? No...we never hurt Lincoln. We would never hurt him or our daughters."

"Not physically, at least," David's grip on his Beretta tightened, "If so, I would've shot you dead."

"Lynn! Who's at the door?"

The three adults glanced inside to find Rita heading down the stairs wearing her signature pink-and-purple uniform. "Oh, hello. How can I help you?"

"Rita..." Lynn hesitated to continue, "They know."

Rita's once cheerful attitude was instantly replaced with that of dread. She nodded in understanding and let the couple enter. They all took seats at the living room couches. For a moment, nothing but silence floated around the household.

"So...what can we do for you?"

"Mrs. Loud, my name is Audrey Duncan and this is my husband David. We have come to sadly inform you that Lincoln Loud is no longer your son."

"W...what?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Loud. A reliable source has informed my husband and I that your methods of parenting have become...questionable following the first loss of your daughter's baseball game. Banning your son from your family activities, selling his furniture, locking him outside, forcing him to wear a squirrel costume to suppress his quote "bad luck"...and that's just the tip of the iceberg."

Clearly angry but quite adept at not letting her anger be known, Audrey took a deep breath before continuing on. "You two should have come to your senses and seen the pain you've put your son through. Instead, _you didn't do **shit**_. As of this moment, you no longer have custody of your son. He is currently under the care of a loving family with siblings that equally love him back; if any of you even come up with the "brilliant" idea of trying to bring him back, we'll be having a field day in court."

"Personally, I'm glad he's in safer hands." David stood up at the same time as Audrey, "The type of people like you sicken me."

As they turned to leave, Rita lunged at Audrey before Lynn or David could stop her. "WAIT! We're sorry! You're right! We haven't been good parents, but w-we can be better! Please don't take our son away from us! We want to let him know he means a lot to us! PLEASE!"

"You had your chance!" That time, David pulled out and aimed his Beretta 92FS at a stunned silent Rita and a horrified Lynn, who finally got off his ass from the couch to pry his wife away from the armed and dangerous husband. Audrey took the time to calm her loved one down and persuade him to not kill anyone here today. She shot the couple a much-needed sympathetic and apologetic look before they left the house, David slamming the door behind them.

Rita could fall down to her knees and weep into her hands, Lynn hugging her in comfort.

 _We're sorry, Lincoln... We all really are..._

* * *

 _ **A/N** : It's unsurprisingly rushed. Yeah, sorry not sorry._


	5. Chapter 5

**_Episode 5: "_** ** _Elegance_** ** _"_**

 ** _(Wednesday, February 14th 2018)  
(6:00 PM)_**

Lincoln got dressed in his tuxedo, a navy blue suit with a dark orange solid tie and brown dress shoes. The event in question was a grand gala that the entire family was invited to by Miss Duncan's boss. Everybody wasn't expected to attend, but if they accepted the invitation, they were expected to dress formally. Oh, and it was held exactly on the official/unofficial day of love. He saw nothing wrong with this _per se_ , but Logan sure did, as he would vocally express his "displeasure" for the holiday at almost every opportunity when granted. The reason why the quotation marks were present? He never downright hated or loathed the day of love's celebration, but rather dismissed the day as nothing but an excuse for people to display their affection for one another in the most over-the-top manner possible.

 _Speaking of which...where is Logan, by the way?_

Lincoln descended downstairs where the rest of the family was waiting. Lauren was wearing a dark grey sheath dress with a black belt and matching platform pumps; Layla was wearing a white wrap dress with a plunging neckline and cream heels; Lacey was wearing a off-the-shoulder black gown with a blue/green/pink collar and her hair in ponytail; Laney was wearing a pink textured skate dress with lace flats and a silver plate collar necklace, her hair in a bun; Leah was wearing a red dress shirt with a white godet skirt, black stockings, and white ankle high boots; Lydia was wearing a black dress with white sleeves above a black suit jacket and a pair of chunky heel boots; Liza was wearing a white halter dress with a pair of golden heels; Lara was wearing a dark blue taffeta dress with silver heels; Lena was wearing a crisp white sleeveless sheath dress with matching sharp heels; Leia was wearing a cyan blue top with a baby blue skirt and silver strap-on flats; Lyla was wearing a black sequined-yoke turtleneck dress with pink heels; and Lila was wearing a pink frilled dress with white flats. Audrey donned a black halter dress with a plunging neckline and heels, while David settled on a black suit with matching dress shoes and a navy blue necktie with dark grey thin stripes.

"Hey, Lincoln!" Laney approached Lincoln with a compliment up her sleeve, "You look handsome!"

"Well, Linc, aren't you the sharp dressed man?" Lacey seemed to agree.

The rest of the family voiced their admiration for Lincoln, who was polite enough to let them finish before he spoke up.

"Thanks, guys. Have any of you seen Logan anywhere?"

"It's anyone's guess, honestly," Lauren responded as she checked her mirror's reflection, "Layla's guess is that he's still get dressed."

"This coming from the girl who has a million dresses to spare?" Leah rolled her eyes with an accompanying chuckle.

"Well, Logan did say that we should go ahead if he takes two minutes too long to get dressed," Lana recalled a sentence her older brother said to them before he ascended upstairs.

Lena glanced at her wristwatch, which read 6:00, before replying: "I suggest we heed Logan's reminder; the gala commences thirty minutes from now."

And so, the family sans Logan did just that. When they arrived at the luxury estate, only half of Huntington Oaks was present. Leave it to the boss to also take up the mantle of a proper and poised party. Based on what he'd seen from their meetings with her, she simply oozed with charisma, confidence, and that reasonable authority manner which resonated with the citizens and made her something of an ensemble dark horse among the community. In other words, anything she liked or disliked, they agreed or disagreed along with her. It reminded Lincoln of someone who wouldn't be out of place in a movie like _**The Stepford Wives**_ , but shrugged it off as Logan putting words into his mouth as a means of teaching him a lesson about trust...for now, at least.

 _Seriously though, where is Logan?_

"All right, everyone," Audrey gathered the children, "You know the rules. You can go and look around, but don't go too far; we couldn't find each other otherwise."

"And I would have to go Liam Neeson on somebody who takes you," David muttered under his breath, a mutter which Audrey couldn't help but chuckle at. Lauren didn't laugh in any capacity, but she did smile and reassure both parents about their safety precautions.

"Don't worry, Mom and Dad. Nobody is going to get lost or taken. Right, girls...and Lincoln?"

The girls plus Lincoln nodded in confirmed unison. At that, Audrey returned the nod. "All right then. Oh! Before I forget...try to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point of a party?"

The girls cheered simultaneously and went their separate ways. Because of his recent acceptance into the Lance Family just a few months earlier, Lincoln still had the perks of a wallflower and didn't quite get the handling of parties like these. As a result, he found himself clinging to the Lance patriarch and matriarch while they were socializing with their adult peers, who were congratulating them for their respective strives for justice. _Justice..._ Lincoln thought as he drank a wine glass of soda for the kids. _I have to admit that my new parents are doing what my old ones couldn't: seeking justice for the average citizen and standing up for the little guy...but I hate to do so as well. Honestly though, I wish that my former family knew how to deal out justice properly like Mr. and Mrs. Duncan. He was a security guard, she was a child services worker. Together, they were the guardian angels of Huntington Oaks. Now, if only the rest of my new family got in on the action...that would make a great comic book franchise._ _Tough, morally flexible, and young enough to carry said franchise for up to 10 or 12 years._

"Lincoln...?"

Lincoln's head shot up at the sound of a _very_ familiar voice. Though he didn't need to turn around and face his confronter, he wanted to and did so in a split second. He was met with a grade school brunette with a hot pink suit jacket above a yellow blouse with a white collar, a blue skirt, and black Mary Janes; her hairband that usually came up and prompted a tuft atop her hair now came down and prompted a line through it. She had changed. For better or for worse he did not know.

"Girl Jordan..."

A not-so-clichéd awkward silence inevitably followed between two ex-friends. Followed by Lincoln, Girl Jordan soon decided to break it first.

"So...how's life?"

"Life's good. This new one, at least."

" _New_ one? What happened in the _old_ one?"

"My _old_ family dumped me because I was a outcast, the black sheep in the bunch. So a _new_ family took me in. They love me, they nurture me, they care for me. I'm happy, and so are they. So...that's that."

 _. . ._

"So how's life...treating you?"

"Oh, well... It's been treating me fairly well, but only slightly worse than your own."

"That's nice. What are you doing here?"

"My older sister works as a waitress for the rich people parties. She didn't like the idea of a babysitter, so I had to tag along."

"She didn't like strangers watching you or she couldn't afford a stranger in general?"

"I like to think it was both."

 ** _"LINCOLN!"_**

Both preteens jumped a few inches into the air before turning around to their sides and finding the twins shuffling towards them. One was crying, the other was fuming. Lincoln's big brother instinct kicked into maximum overdrive. "Lara, what's wrong?"

"The older kids were picking on Lara because of her dress," Liza explained quite solemnly. Examining her dress from head to toe, Lincoln noticed the material used to make the taffeta dress; it was blue denim.

"Were these kids the rich, preppy kind?"

Lara's nod was all Lincoln needed. He marched over to the group and began throwing slow yet powerful punches from left to right. Of course, he was clearly outnumbered six to one, but he always liked the odds. Plus, he learned boxing lessons from Lynn, who merely assumed that he never had to use them.

Logan, who had been listening on the conversation from a few feet away, proceeded to watch his new brother beat the shit out of the bratty kids. He was going to tear them a new one for insulting his little sister before noticing Lincoln had beaten him to the punch. Noticing his fighting tactics, he decided to take a knack at it and improve upon it. Pulling him out of the way in time for a thrown punch to land on a prep behind him, Logan started launching rapid-fire punches and roundhouse kicks to help him fight off the preteen snobs. All the while, he mentally berated and congratulated him for instigating a fight; yes, it was stupid, but the reasons behind it were completely understandable.

When Lincoln and Logan were the only ones left standing, they both exchanged looks for a moment before walking off to the punch table. As they ordered and sipped down their nonalcoholic beverages, the crowd around the mostly unconscious rich group began to expand. One of these civilians was a Hispanic girl around the boys' age who was wrapped in a red dress with a dash of blue and gold, with hoop earrings of the latter color and black Mary Janes complementing her get up. To Lincoln, she was just another innocent bystander curious as to who and why were the people received an admittedly well-deserved beating. To Logan, well...

 _She's cute. **Really** , **really** cute..._

Mr. and Mrs. Duncan arrived on the scene and, after spending a moment of observation, deduced the identity of the perpetrator...currently residing at the punch table with his brother.

"Logan..." David began while crossing her arms.

"What did we tell you about starting a fight?" Audrey placed her arms on her hips akimbo style.

"He didn't start it, Mr. and Mrs. Duncan." Lincoln stepped forward, "I did it."

The couple was easily taken aback by this revelation, but remained calm enough to listen on. "Explain."

"Okay. So I was drinking a glass of Cola when a friend from Royal Woods came my way. We got to talking for a few minutes before Liza and Lara approached me. Those kids were making fun of her dress and made her cry, so I decided to give them a piece of my mind."

To their surprise (as well as his own), Logan concurred with Lincoln. "I only got involved in the fight when I saw he was barely holding his own against them. Of course, it's worth mentioning that Lincoln can throw a mean right hook when it comes down to it." He shot a wink at Lincoln, who smiled back.

The Duncans were skeptical of this rather far-fetched story, but judging by the facial expressions both brothers gave, they knew the truth and not a lie was being revealed.

"All right. We believe you," Audrey smiled warmly before added, "But no instigating a brawl like that, Lincoln. Who knows what could've happened to you if me, David, or even Logan weren't around."

"Don't forget me!" Leah approached them with two slices of meat lover's pizza, a whipped creamed ice cream float, and what appeared to be a chocolate-covered fried chicken leg...all of which were somehow attached to her dress. However, the amount of food wasn't what surprised Lincoln; after Lynn, she was probably the biggest eater he had ever met. No, what surprised (and possibly worried) him was the bulging belly she had gained after presumably eating that much, giving her the appearance of a pregnant woman...or someone who had a watermelon in his or her stomach after accidentally eating its seeds.

She Upon noticing the unconscious group of rich kids, Leah groaned and moaned. "Darn it. I missed a good fight."

"Uh..." As a result, Lincoln was rendered speechless, "Was she like that when we first got here?"

Logan chuckled in amusement under his breath, "I wouldn't worry, Lincoln. She's like this at every single party we attend. Nothing but a little ginger ale can't fix."

"I couldn't agree more," David echoed his sentiment before walking over and picking Leah up. "We're taking Leah home. If you guys and girls want to stay a little longer, make sure you get a ride back."

"Yes, Mom! Yes, Dad! Be safe!" Lincoln called out to him.

"Always am!" David and Audrey called back.

Logan frowned at Lincoln's comment, but didn't voice his halfhearted disdain for it. At first, he was confused as to why Lincoln would call them "Mom and Dad" after only two months of staying with them. By contrast, it took him a full year before calling them "Mom or Dad"; he had grown accustomed to their warm nature by that point. However, he took it as a sign – a sign that Lincoln was more trusting of people, perhaps more so than him. _Of course, could I blame my own brother?_

"Excuse me."

As Logan turned to address the person who called for him, his heart immediately stopped at the sight of her. It was a young Hispanic girl who was wrapped in a red dress with a hint of blue and gold, with hoop earrings of the latter color and black Mary Jane shoes complementing her get up. _Shit... It's the girl from earlier..._

"Uh... Yes, can I help you?"

"Was it true?"

"Was what true?"

"You helped that boy beat up those kids because they made fun of your sister?"

"... Let me get back at you with that one."

Logan ran off and dove under the punch table, snatching a bottle of Coke while at it. As he nervously drank it down, he curled up into a ball and began rocking himself back and forth. He saw movement from the corner of his eye and turned to find Lincoln...in the same position as he was, complete with Coke bottle.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Girl problems?"

"Girl problems."

The two boys came out from beneath the punch table and approached their respective crushes. As Lincoln and Girl Jordan talked, so did Logan and the mystery girl. Soon after, the party was coming to a close, so the DJ enlisted for all people (young and old) to crash the dance floor for one final slow dance. While most of the girls danced with a guy she liked, both boys danced with the girls they liked. In the living room, David and Audrey reminisced about the moment they first met while Leah danced with a Mexican friend with an British accent.

The party officially over, Lincoln and Logan waited for their ride.

"Thank you for the dance, Lincoln," Girl Jordan thanked the former, causing him to heavily blush.

"Oh, it was nothing, Jordan. I...had a little help."

Speaking of which, the latter approached the mystery girl. "Um... I never got your name."

She merely smiled and responded, "It's Diana. Should we exchange numbers, just in case?"

Logan's jaw was agape. _Was this really happening?_

"Yeah, sure."

As the both of them did just that, Lincoln and Girl Jordan looked on.

"Aw, your brother's such a sweet guy. You think we should do the same, exchange numbers?"

"I guess we should."

Girl Jordan and Diana's respective rides arrived and they both waved goodbye to them. Lincoln and Logan waved goodbye in return, perhaps a little too eagerly. As they sighed in content–

 _ **HONK!**_

The boys screamed in fright and jumped in the air and turned to find Lauren in the family van, a smirk worn on her face. Nodding at them to get on in, they both climbed inside and buckled their seatbelt before she drove off. After a moment of silence, Logan suddenly stated,

"Don't say anything, Lauren."

"I won't. They'll find out eventually, though."

* * *

Meanwhile, the Loud House was attending a party hosted by the Yates. They moved in a while after Lincoln had officially moved in with the Lance Family and had heard of this from one half of Royal Woods. Surprisingly though, they held nothing against them for the mistreatment of their son or Lincoln himself for running away in response, stating that people learn from their mistakes and he needed time alone, the one thing he desired in the first place. Still, they were baffled at the fact that they hadn't recognized the felony of locking out a minor under the age of 18.

Luan sat outside the Yates household as she gulped down the empty Solo cup for the past five minutes. She was contemplating the possibility of shutting down Funny Business and quitting the comedy industry all together. Considering the trauma she had to endure in the wake of Lincoln's disappearance, you really can't blame her.

Her ears perked up at the sound of a familiar song and, the effects of the booze finally getting to her, she shot up and decided to dance her heart out like her life depended on it. Taking the equally familiar tango pose, she mimicked their moves with the empty solo cup acting as her partner...for a while, anyway.

"Mind if I join you?"

Luan's heart ran cold (and not because of the weather outside that was frightful) as she turned to face...a pretty girl. A _really_ , _**really**_ pretty girl. She had brown hair with brown skin, a pink dress with pearl earrings, and an overall appearance that eerily resembled herself, complete with braces and a ponytail.

"Uh, sure. Go on ahead."

The girl walked over and took Luan's hand, leading her in the guilty tango that consumed them both. The comedienne was genuinely surprised at this girl's efficiency when it came to slow dancing, eventually melting into her warm embrace. When the song closed to a fade out, they broke away and locked eyes with each other.

"Thank you, um..."

Luan never finished thanking her, for the girl had planted a kiss right on her lips before she turned tail and ran back into the house. But it was not before she revealed her name to her.

"Belle. My name's Belle."

As the door closed, Luan smiled. _Belle..._

* * *

 _ **A/N** : Eight months later, and I'm back...with a late Valentine's Day special. Sorry if it's rushed and long at once. The next chapter will be a Halloween Special._


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi, everyone, **MarcellusMiro66** here! For those expecting another chapter of " **The Other House** ", you are sorely mistaken and I sincerely apologize for it...as well as for the multiple delays, continuity errors, and time skips aplenty throughout the story. It is because of these reasons among many others that I decided to start over from scratch while still retaining the original premise: a small-scale superhero universe with magic realism, genre mashups, and a throwback soundtrack. Its main genres are action, adventure, coming-of-age drama, romance, comedy, superhero/spy caper, and martial arts/wuxia. In terms of television influence (* **takes a deep breath** *), the stories are inspired by **Super Sentai (1975-Present)** , **Charlie's Angels (1976-1981)** , **Knight Rider (1982-1986)** , **The Equalizer (1985-1989)** , **Dark Justice (1991-1993)** , **Power Rangers (1993-Present)** , **The X-Files (1993-2018?)** , **The Secret World Of Alex Mack (1994-1998)** , **Sabrina The Teenage Witch (1996-2003)** , **Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel (1997-2003/1999-2004)** , **The Famous Jett Jackson (1998-2001)** , **The Powerpuff Girls (1998-2005)** , **Dark Angel (2000-2002)** , **Alias (2001-2006)** , **Kim Possible (2002-2007)** , **Codename: Kids Next Door (2002-2008)** , **Heroes/Heroes Reborn (2006-2010/2015-2016)** , **Nikita (2010-2013)** , **Arrow (2012-Present)** , **Steven Universe (2013-Present)** , **Penny Dreadful (2014-2016)** , **Daredevil (2015-2018)** , **Quantico (2015-2018)** , **Into The Badlands (2015-Present)** , **Sense8 (2015-2017)** , **K.C. Undercover (2015-2018)** , **Stranger Things (2016-Present)** , **Shadowhunters (2016-2019)** , **Riverdale/Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina (2017-Present/2018-Present)** , **Deadly Class (2019-Present)** , **The Umbrella Academy (2019-Present)** , and finally **The Boys (2019-Present?)**. In terms of cinematic influence, the story is inspired by **The Thief Of Bagdad (1940)**, **Cheaper By The Dozen (1950)**, the **James Bond Franchise (1962-Present)**, **Yours, Mine, And Ours (1968)**, **The Man Who Would Be King (1975)**, **Superman (1978)**, **Batman (1989)**, **Aladdin (1992)**, the filmography of **Zack Snyder (1992-Present)** , the filmography of **Edgar Wright (1995-Present)** , the filmography of **Guy Ritchie (1998-Present)** , **Spirited Away (2001)**, the **Marvel Cinematic Universe (2008-Present)** , and **Roma (2018)**. _

_Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let's move on the central cast. As best you can guess, the family is the bread and butter of this universe; heck, their house is practically is in the title. However, I decided to recast most of them in order for the new actors (some fairly known and underrated) who play them to be more in line with their respective characters' ages. Of course, there's a very slim chance that the former casting choices may return to play their older selves._

 _1) **Tex Hammond** as **Lincoln Loud / Shooting Star** : One of the two main protagonists and middle children at 11; a kindhearted, optimistic, and well-meaning young boy. He is the new adopted stepbrother of Logan Lance. Under the training of Evelyn and Jack, he studies Krav Maga, Kali, Taekwondo, Boxing, Wushu, and Shaolin Kung Fu.  
2) **Asher Angel** as **Logan Lance / Dusk Shine** : One of the two main protagonists and middle children at 11; an aggressive, cynical, but ultimately good-hearted young boy. He is the new adopted stepbrother of Lincoln Loud, whom he develops a big brother instinct for. He studies Boxing, Muay Thai, Kung Fu, Karate, Judo, Aikido, Capoeira, Taekwondo, Eskrima, Ninjutsu, and Pro-Wrestling.  
3) **Sarah Bolger** as **Lauren Lance / Nightfall** : The eldest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 17. She is strict, commanding, and protective, but also insecure about her lack of the proper ability to look after her family, specifically her younger siblings. She practices Krav Maga, Kali, Taekwondo, Wushu, Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, Parkour, and Tricking among other martial arts, but these seven (for Parkour isn't a fighting style) are the most prominent.  
4) **Chloe Bennet** as **Layla Lance / Night Sky** : The second eldest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 16. She is sweet, kindhearted, and open-minded, being adopted by the Lance Family ten years ago. She practices Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Pencak Silat, Taekwondo, and Eskrima.  
5) **Erin Moriarty** as **Lacey Lance / Starlight** : The third eldest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 15. She is ambitious, nurturing, and creative, with a desire to become a filmmaker in her prime and experiment with genres such as Film Noir, Spaghetti Western, and Big-Budget Musicals.  
6) **Danielle Campbell** as **Laney Lance / Daylight** : The fourth eldest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 14. She is active, energetic, and positive, believing that a well-balanced diet could lead to a well-balanced lifestyle (fitting for a health fit guru). She practices Kickboxing, Budokon, and Tai Chi.  
7) **Dove Cameron** as **Linda Lance / Sunset** : The fifth eldest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 13. She is protective, elegant, and rambunctious with her variety of different genre music, such as Classical, Rock 'n' Roll, and even 80s Synth-Pop. She practices Kali, Kendo, Ninjutsu, Kenjutsu, Kyudo, and Silat.  
8) **Anya Taylor-Joy** as **Lydia Lance / Twilight** : The sixth eldest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 12. She is gloomy, deadpan, and mysterious, but she secretly likes the **Disney Princess** films (especially **Mulan** ). She practices Taekwondo, Baguazhang, Tai Chi, and Wushu.  
9) **Caitlin Carmichael** as **Lena Lance / Night Light** : The sixth youngest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 10. She is intelligent, egocentric, and sarcastic, as par the course for a typical child prodigy. She practices Jeet Kune Do, Hwa Rang Do, and Systema.  
10) **Lulu Wilson** as **Lyla Lance / Lulamoon** : The fifth youngest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 8. She is kind, supportive, and sympathetic. She is an artist, meaning that she draws, paints, and sketches in her pastime. She practices Taekwondo, Kali, and Kenpo.  
11) **McKenna Grace** as **Liza Lance / Solar Flare** : The fourth youngest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 7. She is gentle, hot-tempered, and determined. She practices Judo, Jiu-Jitsu, Boxing, and Krav Maga.  
12) **Ariana Greenblatt** as **Lara Lance / Lunar Blaze** : The third youngest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 7. She is adventurous, fierce, and intelligent...just not to the extent of Lena's IQ. She practices Taekwondo, Tang Soo Do, Shotokan, Wushu, Kyokushin, and Goju-Ryu.  
13) **Lilly Aspell** as **Lila Lance / Starburst** : The second youngest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 6. She is loving, compassionate, and benevolent. She (eventually) practices Kung Fu, Kickboxing, Capoeira, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Swordsmanship, and Krav Maga.  
14) **Imogen and Isabella Poynton** as **Leia Lance / Lavender Star** : The youngest of the Lance Siblings at the age of 4. She is loving, compassionate, and benevolent...times ten. She is the only one in the family who doesn't train in any martial arts, but fencing is the closest thing she has. She (eventually) adds Boxing, Muay Thai, and Kali to her resume.  
15) **Hayley Atwell** as **Evelyn Carter / Daybreaker** : A MI6 Agent, the matriarch of the Lance Family, and the "wife" of Jack Lance. She studies Judo, Muay Thai, Krav Maga, Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, and Bartitsu.  
16) **Jason O'Mara** as **Jackson "Jack" Lance** : A CIA Agent, the patriarch of the Lance Family, and the "husband" of Evelyn Carter. He studies Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Karate, and Boxing.  
_

 _I wanted to make a list of the supporting cast but decided that there would be too many to count, so here's a little fun fact list:_

 _1) Most of the characters' backgrounds share similarities with that of their actors. **Logan** is fond of Christmas, plays guitar, and his religion is Judaism (much like **Asher Angel** in real life); **Lauren** is of Irish heritage, enjoys **Simon & Garfunkel**, and a fan of **Pride and Prejudice** and **Moulin Rouge!** (much like **Sarah Bolger** in real life); __**Layla** is of Chinese heritage and can speak fluent Mandarin (much like **Chloe Bennet** ); **Laney** believes in an active lifestyle to stay fit, loves apples with peanut butter as a snack, and practices kickboxing (much like **Danielle Campbell** in real life); **Linda** is a singer, bisexual, and of French-Russian heritage (much like **Dove Cameron** ); and so on. However..._

 _2) Some aspects of their background checks are fairly tweaked in order to fit into the story. **Logan** is British-Pakistani here and also practices Hin_ _duism (unlike **Asher Angel** , who is Jewish in real life), **Lacey** actually aspires to become a filmmaker when she matures (unlike **Erin Moriarty** , who is simply a fan of **Fargo** , **The Coen Brothers** , and **Terrence Malick** ), and **Lydia** is a raven-haired librarian (unlike **Anya Taylor-Joy** , who is instead a natural blonde ballerina), just to name merely a few._

 _3) Most of the cast members are a part of either the **Marvel Cinematic Universe** , the **DC Extended Universe** (aka **The Worlds Of DC** ), or the **X-Men Film Series**._ _For the latter, while **Anya Taylor-Joy** is the only member of the family from that particular universe, other cast members play separate roles. **Sophie Turner** plays **Jean Knight** , the eldest of a trio of sisters, **Charlie Heaton** plays her love interest, **Dafne Keen** plays a troubled young girl not unlike **X-23** , and **Lewis Tan** plays a personal trainer/bodyguard of the family. _

_4) The choice to switch their personalities was completely deliberate as a means to not completely plagiarize the family they're going against. For specific examples... **Lauren** is **Lori** with more problems on her hands than that of a typical high school girl; **Layla** is **Leni** if she had issues with a certain -ism (racism/autism, respectively); **Linda** is **Luna** who is a pop singer struggling to come to terms with her bisexuality and the fact that no one except **Lincoln** and **Logan** knows; the respective quirks of **Lydia** (the goth girl) and **Lena** (the child prodigy) prevent themselves from making friends out of fear of alienation; **Liza** is **Lola** with a severe inferiority complex and troubles maintaining her powers (to the point of losing control of them upon being overwhelmed with emotions and possibly hurting herself); __**Evelyn** and **Jack** are **Rita** and **Lynn Sr.** if they had to deal with the trials and tribulations of raising a superhero family that isn't even theirs by blood; and **Logan** is essentially the darker side of **Lincoln** : a 11-year-old masked vigilante who first experienced bloodshed at the age of seven._

 _5) Continuing from #4, **Logan** was abandoned by his former family exactly when he was born. __When he was four, he was adopted by a controlling couple in order to boost their image; the father was an alt-right politician with McCarthyism views towards superhumans, while the mother was a feminist/social justice egalitarian. They verbally/psychically abused him, chaining him in their locked basement due to their beliefs that he harbored metahuman abilities (he doesn't to this day). When he was five, he began formulating a plan to run away but knew that his parents wouldn't stop until he was silenced. At age seven, he finally snapped and killed his parents in the middle of a heated argument; he sent the security footage to the police before staging a murder-suicide and burning the house down. At age nine, he was adopted by Evelyn Carter and Jack Lance, a couple who both worked for intelligence agencies; a few months during the holiday season, he met **Diana Dawson** ( **Jenna Ortega** ), a Hispanic girl who would become his best friend and crush. At age eleven, he meets his new stepbrother in the form of **Lincoln Loud** ( **Tex Hammond** ), who was the complete antithesis of him. And the rest is history..._


End file.
